Bringer of Insight

Descend into fire
Can you feel it? Denial
Help another - some liar
Is talking shit again

Bringer of  'the answer'
So damn hard to believe
If I told you once before
You still would not conceive

Thr rising of the soil
Where chance invades
To stronger solutions
In the down of the days
There where you prepare
For unconcious war
Tied in confusions
Not knowing where to store...

Bending the lines, capable handouts
Bonded in pressure, beneath the fall-out

The flame burns you
A scent of greatness follows
In footsteps of failure
Hang or choke your martyr
And dedicate it!

Dancing on the quiet planes
As if there's nothing to dare
Aroused and deranged
An uncalled for message
Hellfire stings,
Unpurpose you bring
Your passion to light
Ripped from the inside
Clearer than day
See no more insight

Turn to dust!
As I must, make the surface clear
Mind the words I spoke
It serves you right
To be buried under will
Walk the mile on your own

Written 05-04-2002 + 10-10-2002

Crossing the Shame

In so many words
You described my life so well
And send me towards
A bitterness to dwell
I've got something for you
A puzzle; my open mind
It leaves you frozen
It's hard to tell, but I'm broken

If I cannot change...
In all these years you taught me so well
I am now myself,
A hardcase inbetween

To hide, I can't seek
The endless trail
Before that lousy sleep
Can't get no rest
The dawn sets, I'm already awake
In times of pressure
Can't help but feel
A depraved procession

Proudly myself
A hardcase inbetween
Crossing that shame

Amidst the few,
They lack themselves
Weren't meant to make closure for future's sake
To twist the knife they hold so deep
Can't keep running from self deceit

Written 17-04-2002 + 19-10-2002

Ardent Spirits

I lie in conspiracy
And you hold it against me
The intrusion of a downer
Mystical and intensified
Long and wide, this night
The truth forlorn as I
An ever wielding sorrow
A gap; foretell no tomorrow

Damned, drunk and whine
Serpent whore, infertile
Long gone the notion to quit
Free with ardent spirits

This way for those who seek
Might end up in eternal sleep
Lost, used, tempted
This life, not pure, it's for me

As paths I've rode
Widen and hold
Then thoughts of once
Die in unbearable cold

An ever wielding sorrow
A gap; foretell no tomorrow
Wish it could be forever, this night
Unpure, forlorn as I

Written 05-08-2002

With the Rest, Die On

Fuck the means...
Drink the juice from my bile!
I care not for your sympathies
Die, go, just plain out of my face

Dirt, the stench of soil
The last time I got picked on
They burst, choked in reverse
Die on with the rest

Contaminated; a perverse plague
I'm shot from a distance
And couldn't stand...
But eventually spewed back
Outcasted fucks!

That was my aim
Now time is due
Could cut the throat
But that would appease you
So I give piss!
Done, without any service
Every speck, I owe to myself
I'll build an empire
With these crampy shaking hands

Cease to exist
For there's no future to look forward to
(Beside me)
I said:
Die on with the rest!
Die on with the rest!
Done in distress
Fuck you, the useless

Written 19-02-2003

Cunning Charade

I thought to be in a dream
And damned if I was!
The essence came out bright
Self absorbed with some 'once in a lifetime' scam
It took no guts,
This pre-announced situation;
To linger in a well
Without dinstinctive meaning

An invitation:
A garden that's polluted
With possessed self-burial laughter
The place you wish to walk amongst
To stir the essence a little more

A tragic tune is to be played throughout
Once and for all!
I saw it would come to this
But rearrangements can be made
As I will do with this charade...

Written 18-02-2003

Matter of No Concern

These were to be his last hours,
He said to himself
Of magnificence he'll gain no triumph
To conjure up some personal favors
He dreamt about
As years went by for the worse

He shan't rest for the final score
Sleep will be fullfilled at the end
So much to discover so deep
These are to be his last days

Alone he went
And far gone he is
Now to ever march onward
The side-effect of a desolate self;
The lock inside himself

Where further man would not tread
There is so little to go back for
That's not to say there's so much ahead
But it's easier now to influence general thinking
Into impurity

Thou art the loneliest soul
Forever to serve a dark matter
Thine eyes pierced with sadness
It's not so much a fase anymore

Written 15-02-2003

Of Darkest Depressions

The creature, that kept creeping
To inflict yet more pain
To his unintent life
It gave not the hope or pride
He'd slain from his side
To believe that the loner he became
Would become all the more wiser
And headed for disencouragement eternally
The cold and bleakness in his heart
Killed all joy and reason

For thee he does not seek;
An unforgiveable eternity
As to bow, but not to break
Splendour, he won't be given

So shall the fear emerge
So shall it eventually take
Only to overcome again
More overwhelming sorrow

Ye seek the darkest depressions
Thus not the enlightenment abound
And further he shall exile
Into 'frowned upon' mystery

So believe that none shall speak
In his passing among the weak
Grace, he won't be given

For the fire burns deep in his eyes
No escape - as he never would
From landscapes wihout view
His stillness will be set aflame
As isolation sets the stage
The man who didn't shed
Leaves to be left,
As one.

Written 14-02-2003

In the Lonely Nightime, Embrace

By night I feel the calm
There's no one here
I can excerpt from any of my creations
For to know, if they can 'read'
For to see, if they can visualize
There would be no need for exaggeration

And I turn into a twisted me...

I should prepare
I may fly as to where I belong
Right here or a million miles ahead or away
But you should know who gives the hand
You should know who then lets go
You're fooled either way
And tricked me to stay

But where to lead us?
Where to take us where all things suffice?
These rapid trick questions
Don't belong in a life or lie that's determined

Thus forget you ever saw
I'll make my mistakes yours
For I truly don't care
What mediocre problem
Wants to assemble to a greater
Yet to still have no power over me

I may say so and I may do so
For there's nothing that binds me
Yet there's still nothing that sets me free
Even towards completion,
Dead end always in sight.

Written 08-02-2003

The Waves Astir (To Call Upon Yourself)

On these grounds unaware
You stare me down
To win my knowing of what I don't see in you;
Lifeless
I predict of no 'good'
People talk of: "One day it'll all come together"
These bastards should know
There's more to existence than the flesh...
I obliterate
Object to every manner that succeeds
For you should know
My lust is not that of the sapiën
I disappeared and somehow wasn't there...

To drift is to move on
So many cowards spread wide
Their useless knowledge
But once proven wrong
I'll be there to point the finger
To cremate your theory!

Of no use, I once said
Only now I realise the thrill
Of the abuse of gliding, downward
But I fear not this closing chapter
Each one points me to new levels
Ever to manifest to a global self
-Yet amongst the creatures-
These grounds nor God
Had any idea what was to be inflicted
A failed attempt for universal sanctuary
But who let it come to this?

With peace, war will be canonized

Written 07-02-2003

Black Poisened Hate

You are torn apart
By a reluctant sadness
Blessed be thy with such a ferocious feeling!
Oh, the joy I feel
When battered to the floor
Pleading not to stop
But to shovel on top some more
The twist gives it's face, clear
The nightly winds I breathe so dear
Lightning strikes every moment...
How could this not be what you want?

Submit to every instinct
Be it joyful or occult
I'll incarnate
To a black poisened hate
And offer you shelter
Under my dark wings

You must reveal to me
For I can help you
Then force you to enjoy my seed!

You have no other passions to unfold
So why not join me
Towards gates of gold
For you, the eye to see
For me, the mind to bare

Submit to every harsch instinct
It is joyful and occult
Through black poisened hate
I'll incarnate
But believe, my sweet
I'll be long gone before you notice
These things around me tend to swirl
Embitter the sight that is already foul
To me, the image is eternal
To you? Well you never quite knew me...
Some things are to be left alone
As am I

Blackend is my way!
Poisened are my heart and mind!
Hate shall quiver!
And boil my entity in woe

Written 31-01-2003

The Precious Wounds of Infinity (As They Last)

Pain, inject my lifeless body
With beautiful morbid fantasy
I shall speak through these chords
And relapse on all my quotes
Is it not: 'to give or be given'
If not taken - even more?
To fall for your own judgement
And go for that rock bottom
Sliding down your personal path
Realising it never grew wings

Thus comes the breakdown
Your spirit was never sending
All your regrets spread like a terminal disease
I ask of you to spread over me
(To give eachother a reliable dose)

As you see I've put a spell on your longings
As you'll reckon soon
But still won't know if it was really me
All part of the addiction
That taunts us evermore
These miseries inflicted
Dreadful as the open sore;
Our deepest wound

Thus crushed the breakdown
Your mind never sending
All that has backfired drapes like a terminal disease
I ask you to drape over me
(For further encounter...)

Mate like the beast beyond
Scream the last cries of the march!
You're blinded with me in isolation
Your first regret, but you'll never leave!
(Damn the irony)

But that's what mistakes do
Have you got the strength
To plot your next choice?

You embarrass me, pitiful insect

Written 20-01-2003

Godwhore

Sin, pervert me when I'm low
For what I give is not to show
All that is liked will be dismayed
And I'm to drown in the deep waters
Away from all pity and compassion
Thoughts recall old memories
The ones that brought me to this place
Conclusion: I'm here, you're not!

Darkside in me
Bound to demonize
Afloat in organic sky
My soul to be delivered
And torn throughout

Wordless I'll manifest
In ways you never thought you'd see me
It might not concern you
But in these hollow chambers
You might be the next in line to be slaughtered!

(Fishhooks through your nails...)

Darkside is bound to demonize
Afloat in these chilled organic skies
My soul delivered and torn throughout
May I sink to deeper waters, all the more

Who's to say why I left and abandoned such?

Written 15-01-2003

Oppress, Depress

I enter the circle
I wish you all dead
Many will fall under this curse
For the few to stride onward

The stench of disembowelment
Makes me weary
Yet the whiff of someone killed
Burns sweet on my tongue

Man: "Cut sideways the arm..."
Woman: "As I cut, come closer..."
Man: "Fulfill the emptiness..."
Woman: "Come into me and satisfy my wound..."
Preacher: "Through blood and semen
                 I damn you into forever hell!"

Happiness shines like a dark crystal
A gift handed unto our glory
We treacherously escaped
Hand in hand we press
Our bloodied bodies so tender
For love is not our mark
We chose to mutilate
Instead of precious love making
(Which doesn't exist)
If all the world could've witnessed
They'd be disgusted into trauma

The lower we cave
Less difference to make
It's this surreal possession
That knows of no direction
Doomed to stand alone
Failed to ever know
Of this warmth
Of it's touch

Written 11-01-2003

The Chosen Path

I spit on what you call beauty
For the horrified ones lie beneath;
The face that is too ugly to see
As if you can't look away
But too curious to find out
It may be the death of you
But how profound do you wish to be?

What you'll find inside
All that's rotten, forgotten and cursed upon
A slate that is so befouled
That it deserves to be dragged under

Accepting the low blindly
You depart from all interactions
Told what is pathetic
But what I've let go
Is to kill the rest of the followers

I don't want you to touch me
I don't want you to know me
I have nothing in common with you
Hail to war forever!

What you've found inside
Was nothing more than a lie
Fed off my hand
As I'll manipulate you more
In the wrong direction
And then you'll face me
The confusion monger!

Delightful this fantasy
Only never to share
The cause satisfies itself
And I'm to stare at the reflection
Until I rid of the flesh

Written 25-12-2002

Toward the Blizzard

As the storm drifts away
Complete the reign of sorrow
Can rule these inner voices
But can't trade these 'thought-well' choices
When tried for sin
Entangled within
Where drearyness haunts
Can't give this bitter some taste

The surge, dead still
Unbind; I know it will

Engulfed in splendour
When signs weaken, inside falsely spoken
Why should it be in my wave?
Though undone in sadness
I'll break through the vague desires you save
Compulsively I hate
In your head rotting away
Trampled and begotten

Written 14-12-2002

Ultra Slow At Warp Speed

Gasping, the blackend fog arise
Lost as usual in the unusual
Only to mind the direction
Of footsteps to be followed
The light is far away
And traces can't be found
Our faces nowhere faced
Our past becoming more sinister

Recognize, but never to tell
Solitude, the purpose solution
Eyes through a mask, it saddens me
But taught me to praise the agony
This'll all be forgotten soon...

We are to fall; bottomless pit
Further descending,
Every minute more painful than the last
It tells us we won't be spared
It wants us to expire
As our lives are clinicly fucked
We await yet more torment

Eyes through despair, it saddens me
But keeps me in touch with the pain
And this won't be forgotten soon!

You can't keep my 'dirt-life' down
This legion is about to rise
And yet I'm disappointed by the minority
That built the mass
I think it's time for a change:
We're here to slay the standards
And abolish the rules of your pathetic commune
And take all our pleasure
While bathing in oceans of blood
Preferred: innocent

Written 15-02-2002

Into Lasting Voids

Let all purity drown in it's tormented soil
Whil giving up this soaked life
Chopping it's head off, dripping on a stick
Has hate inside finally met it's match?

As I lean forward to overthink my woes
All of which I proved to stand above
Still stricken by final blows
I call a grip on myself while I'm mesmerized by the creeping void

Do dominant thoughts appeal?
For the way I'm heading is not to look back
The loss and sorrows have their rest on my shoulder
And the entire has grown to be much colder

The search has done me on all fronts
In ages where insecurity blew it's face off
To drag me down a weakening spiral
That brought me to the edge I'm dancing on quite uncareful

Love tries to show me it's gratuitousness
As the claws of sin penetrate her viciously
Slowly convinced of this rejection
That tends me for times eternally...

Yes, dominant thoughts do appeal!
I'll pave this way and claim it as my own
To look back and bury you in laughter
And offer myself to keep falling into lasting voids

It's wings taunt me...
As I allow it to keep caressing

Written 15-11-2002

The Order

I for one would die to see
The bodies of men splatter to earth
Then slowly see them wither
While they follow my lead into obscurity
It is for those who seek themselves
Who dare to think beyond their heart
For the heart is a useless tool
When it comes to find your inner-most

Beaten and sprawled out; one intense vision
As thoughts of murder awaken your eyes
To calm your imagery of the forsaken 'good'
Through this fury only to find out
You've been staring too long at blank walls

And though my body regrets
I listen to a foul spirit
As it guides my way
And distant (me) from human morals
I will find more attraction,
More desires, more of everything
That will be ignored by my twisted views of self-reality

Alas I can't give in to these compulsions
For when I hold back, I shall commense more
And intensify all outings
And that is what's to be my truth

As written
As bespeak: (witnessed)

The depression of life is on my side
It is my home and wouldn't think of having it any other way
For this is the way to give myself eternally
And dare you to call me a liar...
Filthy forgotten beings!
I will drink thine blood
As the alcohol that fuels me!

Written Friday the 13th -12-2002

Burned and Raped

Now you see why it's time to rise above!
Without shame rejecting love
Wthout pain trying to escape
Without, your body is raped!
Stand aside and feel convicted
And face a world without perspective
It's time to prove who I am...
It's time to prove I'm a man of nothing!

Burn! Rape! Burn! Rape!
A time to fade, a time to pay
A time to sail away

What's the catch for finding yourself?
Trying to tell, don't need any help!
Self progression of the mind
Needing so little to get by

But what I need from you is to suck off...
Cause you wouldn't fuck off!
You had your time and now it's gone
Unconcious to ignore what is wrong or done

Your a has-been, a fake!
Little time now to erase
How it's build is not the way...
I give respect to the burned and raped

Written 06-08-1999

No Fear

When day is not what I feel
But more a conflict, an agony
I turn and cast away
To feel myself wake at sundown
The wind is what's cold
The sky as dank as I'm old
Your face does not shine
I've related myself to others

As you wish to tell me
As I wish to tell you
But the fire has grown hatefull
Therefore I can't restore to bliss

And you will have to say
And you will have to remember
And now days have grown darker
As I'm finally at my stage

My days of reckoning and rememberance
All as shallow, as is stone

As I learned I told you
As you burn, you'll see
That the fire has grown hatefull
Therefore I won't return to bliss

No fear, no grasp
Nothing, but self-infliction

Written 13-07-2002

This Love

This love makes me a sending
This love makes me a mending
This love may be never ending
In this love, there is no use to be pretending

Whispers in the wind
Voices from the shadows
Words that dare to sing
And keep death at the gallows

Written 15-03-2006

Anal Benevolence

Crossing the path of righteous belief
Shaking fists at your cowering creed
You deny, with a straight lie
You force the lie and spread it as law

Clutching your symbols
Known as reminders
If only you'd waken
From this morbid nightmare

Divide, within a straight line
You enforce the line
And uphold it as the law

Written 05-03-2008

Merciless Fate

Believe what your masters tell you
Divise the ethics, the moral
Your death will be called upon

Your blank stare tell a fate worse than death
Merciless

My blood has turned to ash
Enabled me
The current will to nothing
Merciless

Imprisoned by life
To become the sceptic

Written 22-04-2009

Desensitize

See it as it's going
Coming around again
Please play the game
Stay in the game
Be what you're told
So divine the excess
So pleasurable indeed!
Be the slave
Pave the way
Drone until forever!

Don't make a sound

Are you going to be everything you want?
Does it pay, keep you safe?
Maybe for today?
Buy into the worst
Demoralize for now
Drink a bit
Fuck a bit
Don't you dare think!
Desensitize right now!

Wriitten 28-02-2008

The Scourge of God

These poetic ailments
Of non descriptive nature
Debase the inspiration
Aesthetics suffer through negation
Words are but words
Even when lost in translation
I vy a why for their scriptures
Asinine burdens, fake damnations
Undeveloped still
Pose a corpse for their bloodletting
A choice of martyrs if you will
Unquestionable, it's themselves they seem to kill
Now wrath is up for grabs
Unholy cults are cursing your ass!
From the waist you are gut
A stream of blood
Satisfies the religious slut/nut

We are the nails through your flesh!
We are the horns of distress!
We are the black blood that feeds the dogs!
You're outwilled and outnumbered;
We are legion!
The scourge of your God!

Written 31-03-2006

Angel of the Bottomless Pit

Writhing sarcastically
A hell created so fervently
By those that choose to suffer
Without will, demise is what they seek
The fall of the believer
A truth that opens their eyes
Kill what's left of God
(And) become the son of eternal skies

None shall repent
Without light there is a way!
Cast to earth, for no other place exists
Our symbol: The angel of the bottomless pit

In lies there is no gain
To serve? Your deceived again
Revel and reap the rewards!
The world does not need to be the same
Snakes shall ever slither
And Gods come and go
Religions will fail and wither
And all will end below

We are non repentant
Lust will conquer all
The earth is thine if you will it
The 'holy' shall grovel
In their self made bottomless pit

Stupidity is your only sin
To live is to win!
Die your saviour's death
And leave those be who walk
The serpentine path

Written 16-10-2012

All His Dominion is in Darkness

Contemplate the metaphysics
Statues of war, praise the psychotics
For drugged they be
By political stance
Fighting against their own
In a biblical trance
Until suffering declines
You may proceed
Weeding the bastards out
With an unholy creed
Caught in this drivle
They call it progress
But I have my own law
Amid the legion of darkness

Your empires crumble again
Spiraling, as this world keeps turning
And like every cycle, face the sameness
Gather around and start your sinning
All his dominion is in darkness

Come say out loud
Spew words at them
We're part of the proud
Swear allegiance, we sin
Live our life
Take as we desire
No need for their strife
Abstinence: a curse for the pious
Trample them under hoof!
Guard the temples of pleasure!
Your sweet-talk is getting you nowhere...
The father is gone
As we join the serpent under the sun

Tears turn to blood again
We sip of the wine and spit in your face
Before a rotten corpse you kneel and pray
Your sickness manifests through your disgrace
All his dominion is in darkness

Written 13-08-2006

The Hidden One

Disguised by many;
The prince, the fiend
Classic fear of the unknown
Ritualize what man thinks obscene
A short vocation of the one
Synchronized with those
Under the black sun

Of unhallowed grounds
You spake thus the word
Lost within the paradox of thought
Throwing verses
Poisoning; the insistence
I Pray, death for thee

From nothing, begotten
Becoming as the hidden one

I should despise more
Your everyday corruption
I will deny more
What's become mass consumption
Pounding out beliefs
I am the thrust of the hammer
Remember, we may be the same...
But we're not!

The answer comes in pieces
Shattered through the mind
If one doesn't learn
You'll follow the blind

And your tales of unlove
And all the death throes
Hath become the disease of time

From fire reborn
Eternally known as the hidden one

Written 09/18-01-2007

26 Hours

Time comes around
Being so vain...
Well I'm not, how about you!
Left 5 minutes ago
On a bonafide train
Teaching to be alone at night
Swelling up inside, I admit to signal
Ahead!
And not to kind
To be the one who tells you not to dive

Running up and down
Somewhere around a frequent state of mind
Moving back and forth
Driving the nails down,
I stay here!

It's a word, it's a tale
Don't want to hear otherwise
Bury? I'll get the shovel
Throw it away
Dig you up later...

Servants of Disorder

I want to shoot another Kennedy!
I want to rape the boss' wife!
I never kneeled before a servant!
Disorder!
This wrath is mine!

Written 20-06-2000

Through Dead Winters

The page is read
The door closes
Feel the wind coming over
Like it would if you died

The search for reality is lost
A past broken and frustration builds
Like it would if you cried

The looks that gaze upon
Fear is now strength
Moving like it would if we tried

The whole regrets
It's ungratefull and it tears downward
Like it would if you hide

Through dead winters pain
Through dead winters hate
Through dead winters...

It's not a game, it's fate
The windows crack
What is left of how it could be
If it destroys
Another burden, tears of hatred
Across the river walking
Like it would if we'd care

Through dead winters fate
Through death, not breathing

Wallow in the mass...
Mass confusion
It's worse than any nightmare
Of how it feels to be buried alive
The truth is heard too many times
Feeding worms to companions
They're all gone
It's how it feels to be alone

Written 22-04-1999

Barricade

Leave it out cause time will forget
Ostracized? No, not this time
It's leading nowhere; so dark
A mindgame with intension
Where does the clue hide?
Across that line, uninspired
The long awaited battle arise
To hell with solitude!
Start shivering down the spine!

Prepared, facedown and cold
Never attracted to fear
Send them in to coalesce
To rebuild and bring back the barrier

Confused before a wired fence
Eat, out of a reaching hand
When does the will make time
To eternalize a frail life?
Instead
Suck like the leech and don the mask as told

Strength, none of which is present
It's eating the inside out
Everything's the last drop
When is the time to open up?
Give, what is needed
Acceptance, a mind fuck and a little greed
Show your soul!
And ride til the cup overflows!

Written 10/11-11-2001

Funeral Dirge

Direction of the burden prophecies
The wind divides the memory
Chanting to praise the pearls
The fruits and the labor
Trying to make it equal
Untie the knot of an unwillful mankind
To know perseverance
Albeit, it's safe to say you're at a loss

Wrongfully an error
Sent to distract me
And excess the penalty
Forge the innummerable innuendo's

Cut away the grip we've slaved for
The one to become brutalised
In the ongoing attempt
To feel nothing but paralysed
Some fool tells me
I'm either baptised or yearning for a death rattle
Planting my seed, believe!
I'm eager to leave!

They talk like it's 'ok'
Escape to shackle another day
Your wheelin' and dealin' condone
But the servant is late

Capsized prayer
For nothing is answered

Renewal of the inner = Reward for the outer

Written 29-11-2001

Drive Or Be Driven

Soon to be scraped from the asphalt
Your senses become redundant
Breathing through flesh and bone
All is everything but your own
Defy! Until the end
Ignite your rhetorical facts
Since the day you've met yourself
You hear the gunshot aloud

Drive or be driven
Choices were made, no hand I've been given
You left me there, thanks...

Showered all emotion away
Envisage the mental decay
See the rope dangling before you
Will you do it, will you?
Abdicate yourself from your life
Is it the easy way out?
Before you know it death will cheat you
Render you stupid and see you abate...

Drive or be driven
Far beyond driven...

We're in it for free
Disaffected, should it be?
If the curtains fall will it end?
I know I'll abscond and teach you
Never to walk by my side
Cause I'm the one who holds the wheel
And the choices I've made will give examples
Of what it's like to be the one who drives

And the choices are already made
So fuck you and your given hand
Fuck you and your giving hand!

Written 24-11-2001

A Rancid Death

The intensity moves; a focussed battering
Two sides of an inferior promise
I still dread the secret, haunting me
Though it keeps me safe, not knowing
Pissed, while I try to feel better
Save my skin for the purpose whore
As I walk gently through the door I realize
This isn't the playground anymore

A race against a rancid death, I ignore
The past pleasures forgotten, absorbed
Terrified of a darkened suicide
Concerned to slip into psychosis

Now all the deals are off
I've been given more time to think
And sometimes that hate just increases
The uncontrollable urge to dismember you
And then you ask why...
But feel there's no obligation to explain
You're just fucked in your position
Left to wander in frustration

And I keep staring at you
Cause I find you so liberated
Now lift that dress and bendover
And let me fuck the pain out of you
Stricken through the heart again
I almost feel fully content
As the paws of injustic mutilate you
I light one up and exhale gently...
I feel so glorified

Written 09-10-2001

What's It to You...?

Languish in eternal gaze
Periphery has a defect
Long not anymore...
Anymore,
For longing has become a burden

And to you I give not
And of you I have no thought
Vanished are you whom I've sought
Good!
Tis you I don't miss a lot!

Merriment and self indulgence
Thus opened their heart
At the core am I
Feeding on my eternal pride!

Pain there is not
And each time I have what I got
Sustaining me, keeping me
Everlasting on my feet

Corrupting my fantasy
I am no more of thee
Remove myself at once from this pest
Alone I stand
Without you I'm at my best

Do not rely on them
Do not confide in them
I shall speak no more of them
I shall do as I do
And keep doing what I do
No bond will there be
Between me and them
Anymore...

Written 21-06-2008

The Totality of Insignifigance (Through Definitive Distortion)

Through infinity
Straight to Hell!

Got nothing on my back
I'm still on track
You can't beat the insides out of me yet!

Take it down,
But just a notch
I tear and see
What's been inside of me
Can't I just take the weight off?

I'm right, that's right!
I go back and then through
Turning on you!
Your 'now' disappoints me
And it's doing me in

Fuck this, screw that!
I have nothing for you that you can abuse
So go with the tide
Away from my life
Through the totality of insignifigance!

Deafening distortion
Away! Away!
There's got to be a way
To swim this mighty black ocean

Didn't I need some?
I made a perfect mistake
I went through the gate
And now I belong to the blessed ones...

Written 09-04-07

Deceiving Uninhibited Frequencies

Leaping towards higher mountains of knowledge
Desolate, despairing, I shed...
Your words make mine sound more reasonable

Domestic waste, bourgeois, nothingness
Degenerate, break, then tame...
Fuse the lines that dangle helplessly
Make each star a participating member

Under certain attraction
Become knowable through thought
Inner circumstance moving outward
War becomes futile...

Chaos: the only peace to find
The only one I've come to know
Search the inner calm
Protected not from it's virtue

Waves become disentangled
Finding their own frequency
You may not see
Yet you shall always find

Come forth, the spawn, through emptiness
Make dreams visions, then reality
Sure enough ye shall be deceived
Ans as deceived, you shall deceive moreover

Spineless, effortless you shall embrace the black tar pit
And leave as you came
As inconsequential as the first day
You were conceived i.e. deceived.

Written 24-05-2008

Abuse

That time for retreating
To view yourself once more
Knowing you love the high
A satisfying feeling
Coming closer to expand
Don't bother to resist
You're fucked in the middle
Pounding with your fist

Always after the worst
To ignorant to even notice
Gripping the lows
All hail the new dose
You just want more... and more
The excitement to lose it all
Far gone in it's need
Claiming to be a bad seed

In it for the fun
The seconds are yet to come
By this time tomorrow
Under the sheets, sorrowed
Next day, a new blast
Do more, suffocate in the vast
Sunken eyes, dethroned of yourself
The hand of doom is here to help

Self abuse, self torture
Maintaining the high
Relieved in the pain
Always at your command
Gazing at nothing...

Written 28-10-2001

Hate Engine

I am nobody
Spawning from a wretched abyss
Which knows no depth;
Coldness of the heretic

Hate purifies the 'soul'
Love is the hate engine

They that speak loud
Say nothing of value
Your deeds stay undone
Your words left unspoken.

Written 20-04-2011

Rust & Restitution

Fire walks through bewildered woods
Rest alone have no home
The slave saves no face
Dwelling in disgrace;
Outnumbered yet the many
No voice, no vengeance in mind
Prostitution, murder, death beyond one's perimeter
You lose
A search endless, void, null
Harvest the crop, tainted with disease
Again holding viral substance;
Inner hatred towards all; the waste, filth
One's end to nothing: sex, gratification, overkill
Daily violence, hurt, unresolved issues, domestic dispute, you're wrong, I'm wrong, world escapades, Minority escapes
It's your mind, it's your hell
Nature uncovers
The mind sinks, dwells, beneath, ever rotting, the abscess, the cancer, the mighty tumor
Human race dissolves
Life undeveloping, resistance, existence... futile
Holding breath, holding barren rotten skulls in the putrid sickness of a bile infested environment
Waking up, distraught, skull is cold
The vermin rise once again
Fullfil, embodie, absolve
Layers digress, words mummify
The last has spoken, yet continues to form nouns
And loss has gained itself a new throne
Tranquility is a bastard child, not yet born...

Written 14-05-2012

Guts Spilled

An attempt to turn the switch
It's coming to my knowledge
That it's been broke for years
An open casket for you
My price to pay for pain
Under your wing to suffer
First and foremost for desire

I'm sorry I came out of that corner so unexpected
To twist the knife a little more
You've become so sore

Gut spilled, I see no awakening
Beyond the wall is where I'm contemplating evil
Torture in my head comes to light
Innocence will be victimised

Pain is now the source
The thing that makes you needful
And your will to be reborn
As a slave to your scorn

Is it something that keeps you burning?
Tell me if you think it lead you to something
Knowing me, I'm surprised you got here at all...

Torture in my head so bright
Innocence is victimised
Left to gut it from my mind
Long to perish no more.

Written 05-02-2002

Hell's Path

They live
They breathe amongst us
The hammer came down upon you
Space, taking over
Developed into a cult
Grim, dark and extreme
Walking down hell's path

Exchange visions
And fly toward a colder dark
Feeding on darker blood
Burning, therein to dabble

Nearly at the bottom
The passage goes further still
Ever deeper, ever so far
I'm near (there's no one here)
What they call freedom
Means imprisonment; their time on earth
They hope to die
So the soul can soar beyond

They have killed, they have seen
They gave what's seen through me

The growling is getting louder
The fog is far out the thickest ever seen
The hand that kept me down
I'll use it to keep you down

Feeding on darker blood
Burning, down hell's path.

Written 21-06-2003

Azote (Enduring)

Writhe in obscurity
Madness projected in positiveness
It's in my blood
Black waters of old

Duration of the utmost
Perserverance; the Will to last
It's in my blood now
Dark images of old

My mind, the throne to every paradox
My heart, the gateway to all lost realms
It flows through my blood
Embraced by the shadows of old

The ones that have haunted
The ones that made you fear
I won't wait for you
There are no odds that one day I'll see you here.

Written 14-10-2007

Anti...

A black orbit of reduced thoughts forming a theory
To be lost in the 'second' of things
An urge to unfold
And pleasing they prove to be
As they complete a journey well travelled
A sarcastic view
A maze of horror
Herein we gracefully subside
May they come to us in their downfall

A strength which appears and disappears
A will that's bold
Mannered, but anti

They're hid well under
A closing eye that may see through
A name, none of the rotten deserve
Bathing in their bleeky blackness
A hatred not to comprehend
It layers itself
And gives you full debate
Of the progress that wields
Through those 'blessed souls'

A hate that appears and keeps reappearing
For the thought that bled not a second
Tempered, unlikely casual and anti

Their will, not to be heard
So bluntly they dismiss
It was free, it was given
Could they not absolve the 'second'?
Morbidly crucified and anti
Giving destruction a point to erase.

Written 22-10-2003

Into the Maze

They condemn my view
They painted it black; a crippled decision
No rules for the martyr
It's clearly seen, the bastard wins
Take the disguise off
I want to see you facing reality
Bend over the wire
And slip into the throne

My perfection is inner darkness
Unknown chaos, a trip for my own

It's worth to see the creeping walls divide
It's plain to see the mirror does not shine

Brick for brick, the layer thickens; I'm hardening
To choose, it's not a problem
When it comes to what I need
I've broke the switch
To which I'm losing ground; I can't return
Now they're after me...
Hell! show me what it takes to burn!

They've set me on fire
I'm in with the blackness
My calls are for me
Won't wait for you
I'm nearly there!

You can't find a meaning in everything I stand for and do
But life to me isn't unfair.

10-09-2003

Empty and Insignificant

Alone, the stare
Silent, the gaze
Insignificant
To tell a tale of a thousand wandering souls
No goals as they don't find themselves worthy
Nothing to seek
Just pondering of what might be: Total Death

Scream. Vague. Turn around
Turn it upside down
Where? You can't... closed

I can't remember a single line
Unstable? A laughing matter

I hold the strings
Like the ones holding me
Look below
You were afraid to let go

Border of self expression passed for miles
Ages to impound what's been done before
No love, no warmth

Everyday a step closer
Defined. I step on my grave
All of a sudden, it became dark

Trust. There's no one to hail
I'll step on your grave
And be the chill bruising down your spine
Alone. The Temptation
Silent. The Infliction
Insignificant
And ongoing...

Written 28-02-2003

The Demon Has Risen

He is here and heavily present
I turned your light off and flood you in a sea of darkness
I gave you a new release
Yes, they are calling through me
To blur you of your total vision
To get it done; so it is
A balance quickly accepted

A definition for the youth;
The elder claim their space
Already amidst the dark seasons of their life
For no one shall give thought
To early secrets never fully questioned

Indeed, they ride on wings
Without master, to serve
An incompetent slave
They shall not be blessed
They shall burn entirely
For no slave holds the key
So the route unto darkness
Shall always be made by one

One for every century
To keep going in every cycle
For them to keep the inner flame certain and alive

A slave now, maybe a martyr soon
Who knows what comes and goes?
Who knows what portal you may tread
I know, I've been that slave
But I'm your martyr now.

Written 23-10-2003

Diabolical Emphasis

Filled with disrespect
Your ways don't bleed like mine
Maybe one day you'll recognize it
And grant me a wish for the life I gave you

Don't serve, only lead
The voices of my deep hone strength as a law
What I brought to you
You couldn't comprehend yet
But I'll wait...
The rite works in mysterious ways

Black spirit, one in mind
Souls that rot gracefully
The things I explained, my every word
A wishfull yearn

The hangman that reaches the other side
Have no place on this earth
Play and hope to die

Death that grows a thousandfold

Soon the garden filled with dwelling demons
The ones that killed their light

The inverted forever
One in mind
Souls in pain eternally
The things explained, all the words
A silent yearn

Granted! Emotional hate
Tongues are hissing, lewd and to frustrate
Bark at your system, hectic blessing
Then a diabolical emphasis.

Written 22-04-2003

A Blizzard Through the Unconcious

So, what's to be?
Should you depend on me?
No! not me

Life, a trap, a maze within
Decide where to begin
When all is sin?!

Indulge where I can
Invoke a master plan

Death: the riddle unsolved
From the start you begin to dissolve

Pain, lies, hate and fear
Make up the void inside,
But where is pride?

Festered! All your dreams
And now it's not what it seems

Lies, illusions, when do I gain?
The right of prospect and do as I please!

They've sunken into drab-minds
They will collapse and behold:

The path of the 'rich' man
But where is this gift you offer?
Can't watch from the side-lines
Induce to suffer!

Written 26-07-2005

What is yours...?

Callous wreckage in a new dimension
Sins become sweeter...
The law that is not, cries for attention

Love to learn how to hate
Hate to learn how to love
Beget not what is said to be holy!

Learn about death to know how to live
Learn about life to understand death
Embrace it!

Become eternity until the earth swallows you whole

Despair not!
Wallow not!

The world is yours.

Written 10-22-2008

A Misdemeanor

Look upon the face
The face without reflection
The sinister embodiment
Developing an inner abyss,
Which comes from the deepest alone
Infection, sedation
The heartless ocean of lies;
Yields it's biggest waves

Through conformity;
Without structure
Through rebellion,
Becoming the unknown
Without voice, speaking the whole
Destructive reign through ages cold
Inner darkness becoming home
Chaos: Fate forevermore

Dead are the mouths
Poisoned are the tongues
'Souls' still cheaper
An outward shame, a common waste

Brain death, hollow mind; a vacuum
The sun, electrified; current of life
The moon drips life's blood through endless night
The face drowns into eternal oblivion.

Written 22-10-2008