The Precious Wounds of Infinity (As They Last)

Pain, inject my lifeless body
With beautiful morbid fantasy
I shall speak through these chords
And relapse on all my quotes
Is it not: 'to give or be given'
If not taken - even more?
To fall for your own judgement
And go for that rock bottom
Sliding down your personal path
Realising it never grew wings

Thus comes the breakdown
Your spirit was never sending
All your regrets spread like a terminal disease
I ask of you to spread over me
(To give eachother a reliable dose)

As you see I've put a spell on your longings
As you'll reckon soon
But still won't know if it was really me
All part of the addiction
That taunts us evermore
These miseries inflicted
Dreadful as the open sore;
Our deepest wound

Thus crushed the breakdown
Your mind never sending
All that has backfired drapes like a terminal disease
I ask you to drape over me
(For further encounter...)

Mate like the beast beyond
Scream the last cries of the march!
You're blinded with me in isolation
Your first regret, but you'll never leave!
(Damn the irony)

But that's what mistakes do
Have you got the strength
To plot your next choice?

You embarrass me, pitiful insect

Written 20-01-2003

Godwhore

Sin, pervert me when I'm low
For what I give is not to show
All that is liked will be dismayed
And I'm to drown in the deep waters
Away from all pity and compassion
Thoughts recall old memories
The ones that brought me to this place
Conclusion: I'm here, you're not!

Darkside in me
Bound to demonize
Afloat in organic sky
My soul to be delivered
And torn throughout

Wordless I'll manifest
In ways you never thought you'd see me
It might not concern you
But in these hollow chambers
You might be the next in line to be slaughtered!

(Fishhooks through your nails...)

Darkside is bound to demonize
Afloat in these chilled organic skies
My soul delivered and torn throughout
May I sink to deeper waters, all the more

Who's to say why I left and abandoned such?

Written 15-01-2003

Oppress, Depress

I enter the circle
I wish you all dead
Many will fall under this curse
For the few to stride onward

The stench of disembowelment
Makes me weary
Yet the whiff of someone killed
Burns sweet on my tongue

Man: "Cut sideways the arm..."
Woman: "As I cut, come closer..."
Man: "Fulfill the emptiness..."
Woman: "Come into me and satisfy my wound..."
Preacher: "Through blood and semen
                 I damn you into forever hell!"

Happiness shines like a dark crystal
A gift handed unto our glory
We treacherously escaped
Hand in hand we press
Our bloodied bodies so tender
For love is not our mark
We chose to mutilate
Instead of precious love making
(Which doesn't exist)
If all the world could've witnessed
They'd be disgusted into trauma

The lower we cave
Less difference to make
It's this surreal possession
That knows of no direction
Doomed to stand alone
Failed to ever know
Of this warmth
Of it's touch

Written 11-01-2003

The Chosen Path

I spit on what you call beauty
For the horrified ones lie beneath;
The face that is too ugly to see
As if you can't look away
But too curious to find out
It may be the death of you
But how profound do you wish to be?

What you'll find inside
All that's rotten, forgotten and cursed upon
A slate that is so befouled
That it deserves to be dragged under

Accepting the low blindly
You depart from all interactions
Told what is pathetic
But what I've let go
Is to kill the rest of the followers

I don't want you to touch me
I don't want you to know me
I have nothing in common with you
Hail to war forever!

What you've found inside
Was nothing more than a lie
Fed off my hand
As I'll manipulate you more
In the wrong direction
And then you'll face me
The confusion monger!

Delightful this fantasy
Only never to share
The cause satisfies itself
And I'm to stare at the reflection
Until I rid of the flesh

Written 25-12-2002

Toward the Blizzard

As the storm drifts away
Complete the reign of sorrow
Can rule these inner voices
But can't trade these 'thought-well' choices
When tried for sin
Entangled within
Where drearyness haunts
Can't give this bitter some taste

The surge, dead still
Unbind; I know it will

Engulfed in splendour
When signs weaken, inside falsely spoken
Why should it be in my wave?
Though undone in sadness
I'll break through the vague desires you save
Compulsively I hate
In your head rotting away
Trampled and begotten

Written 14-12-2002

Ultra Slow At Warp Speed

Gasping, the blackend fog arise
Lost as usual in the unusual
Only to mind the direction
Of footsteps to be followed
The light is far away
And traces can't be found
Our faces nowhere faced
Our past becoming more sinister

Recognize, but never to tell
Solitude, the purpose solution
Eyes through a mask, it saddens me
But taught me to praise the agony
This'll all be forgotten soon...

We are to fall; bottomless pit
Further descending,
Every minute more painful than the last
It tells us we won't be spared
It wants us to expire
As our lives are clinicly fucked
We await yet more torment

Eyes through despair, it saddens me
But keeps me in touch with the pain
And this won't be forgotten soon!

You can't keep my 'dirt-life' down
This legion is about to rise
And yet I'm disappointed by the minority
That built the mass
I think it's time for a change:
We're here to slay the standards
And abolish the rules of your pathetic commune
And take all our pleasure
While bathing in oceans of blood
Preferred: innocent

Written 15-02-2002

Into Lasting Voids

Let all purity drown in it's tormented soil
Whil giving up this soaked life
Chopping it's head off, dripping on a stick
Has hate inside finally met it's match?

As I lean forward to overthink my woes
All of which I proved to stand above
Still stricken by final blows
I call a grip on myself while I'm mesmerized by the creeping void

Do dominant thoughts appeal?
For the way I'm heading is not to look back
The loss and sorrows have their rest on my shoulder
And the entire has grown to be much colder

The search has done me on all fronts
In ages where insecurity blew it's face off
To drag me down a weakening spiral
That brought me to the edge I'm dancing on quite uncareful

Love tries to show me it's gratuitousness
As the claws of sin penetrate her viciously
Slowly convinced of this rejection
That tends me for times eternally...

Yes, dominant thoughts do appeal!
I'll pave this way and claim it as my own
To look back and bury you in laughter
And offer myself to keep falling into lasting voids

It's wings taunt me...
As I allow it to keep caressing

Written 15-11-2002

The Order

I for one would die to see
The bodies of men splatter to earth
Then slowly see them wither
While they follow my lead into obscurity
It is for those who seek themselves
Who dare to think beyond their heart
For the heart is a useless tool
When it comes to find your inner-most

Beaten and sprawled out; one intense vision
As thoughts of murder awaken your eyes
To calm your imagery of the forsaken 'good'
Through this fury only to find out
You've been staring too long at blank walls

And though my body regrets
I listen to a foul spirit
As it guides my way
And distant (me) from human morals
I will find more attraction,
More desires, more of everything
That will be ignored by my twisted views of self-reality

Alas I can't give in to these compulsions
For when I hold back, I shall commense more
And intensify all outings
And that is what's to be my truth

As written
As bespeak: (witnessed)

The depression of life is on my side
It is my home and wouldn't think of having it any other way
For this is the way to give myself eternally
And dare you to call me a liar...
Filthy forgotten beings!
I will drink thine blood
As the alcohol that fuels me!

Written Friday the 13th -12-2002

Burned and Raped

Now you see why it's time to rise above!
Without shame rejecting love
Wthout pain trying to escape
Without, your body is raped!
Stand aside and feel convicted
And face a world without perspective
It's time to prove who I am...
It's time to prove I'm a man of nothing!

Burn! Rape! Burn! Rape!
A time to fade, a time to pay
A time to sail away

What's the catch for finding yourself?
Trying to tell, don't need any help!
Self progression of the mind
Needing so little to get by

But what I need from you is to suck off...
Cause you wouldn't fuck off!
You had your time and now it's gone
Unconcious to ignore what is wrong or done

Your a has-been, a fake!
Little time now to erase
How it's build is not the way...
I give respect to the burned and raped

Written 06-08-1999

No Fear

When day is not what I feel
But more a conflict, an agony
I turn and cast away
To feel myself wake at sundown
The wind is what's cold
The sky as dank as I'm old
Your face does not shine
I've related myself to others

As you wish to tell me
As I wish to tell you
But the fire has grown hatefull
Therefore I can't restore to bliss

And you will have to say
And you will have to remember
And now days have grown darker
As I'm finally at my stage

My days of reckoning and rememberance
All as shallow, as is stone

As I learned I told you
As you burn, you'll see
That the fire has grown hatefull
Therefore I won't return to bliss

No fear, no grasp
Nothing, but self-infliction

Written 13-07-2002

This Love

This love makes me a sending
This love makes me a mending
This love may be never ending
In this love, there is no use to be pretending

Whispers in the wind
Voices from the shadows
Words that dare to sing
And keep death at the gallows

Written 15-03-2006