Abuse

That time for retreating
To view yourself once more
Knowing you love the high
A satisfying feeling
Coming closer to expand
Don't bother to resist
You're fucked in the middle
Pounding with your fist

Always after the worst
To ignorant to even notice
Gripping the lows
All hail the new dose
You just want more... and more
The excitement to lose it all
Far gone in it's need
Claiming to be a bad seed

In it for the fun
The seconds are yet to come
By this time tomorrow
Under the sheets, sorrowed
Next day, a new blast
Do more, suffocate in the vast
Sunken eyes, dethroned of yourself
The hand of doom is here to help

Self abuse, self torture
Maintaining the high
Relieved in the pain
Always at your command
Gazing at nothing...

Written 28-10-2001

Hate Engine

I am nobody
Spawning from a wretched abyss
Which knows no depth;
Coldness of the heretic

Hate purifies the 'soul'
Love is the hate engine

They that speak loud
Say nothing of value
Your deeds stay undone
Your words left unspoken.

Written 20-04-2011

Rust & Restitution

Fire walks through bewildered woods
Rest alone have no home
The slave saves no face
Dwelling in disgrace;
Outnumbered yet the many
No voice, no vengeance in mind
Prostitution, murder, death beyond one's perimeter
You lose
A search endless, void, null
Harvest the crop, tainted with disease
Again holding viral substance;
Inner hatred towards all; the waste, filth
One's end to nothing: sex, gratification, overkill
Daily violence, hurt, unresolved issues, domestic dispute, you're wrong, I'm wrong, world escapades, Minority escapes
It's your mind, it's your hell
Nature uncovers
The mind sinks, dwells, beneath, ever rotting, the abscess, the cancer, the mighty tumor
Human race dissolves
Life undeveloping, resistance, existence... futile
Holding breath, holding barren rotten skulls in the putrid sickness of a bile infested environment
Waking up, distraught, skull is cold
The vermin rise once again
Fullfil, embodie, absolve
Layers digress, words mummify
The last has spoken, yet continues to form nouns
And loss has gained itself a new throne
Tranquility is a bastard child, not yet born...

Written 14-05-2012

Guts Spilled

An attempt to turn the switch
It's coming to my knowledge
That it's been broke for years
An open casket for you
My price to pay for pain
Under your wing to suffer
First and foremost for desire

I'm sorry I came out of that corner so unexpected
To twist the knife a little more
You've become so sore

Gut spilled, I see no awakening
Beyond the wall is where I'm contemplating evil
Torture in my head comes to light
Innocence will be victimised

Pain is now the source
The thing that makes you needful
And your will to be reborn
As a slave to your scorn

Is it something that keeps you burning?
Tell me if you think it lead you to something
Knowing me, I'm surprised you got here at all...

Torture in my head so bright
Innocence is victimised
Left to gut it from my mind
Long to perish no more.

Written 05-02-2002

Hell's Path

They live
They breathe amongst us
The hammer came down upon you
Space, taking over
Developed into a cult
Grim, dark and extreme
Walking down hell's path

Exchange visions
And fly toward a colder dark
Feeding on darker blood
Burning, therein to dabble

Nearly at the bottom
The passage goes further still
Ever deeper, ever so far
I'm near (there's no one here)
What they call freedom
Means imprisonment; their time on earth
They hope to die
So the soul can soar beyond

They have killed, they have seen
They gave what's seen through me

The growling is getting louder
The fog is far out the thickest ever seen
The hand that kept me down
I'll use it to keep you down

Feeding on darker blood
Burning, down hell's path.

Written 21-06-2003

Azote (Enduring)

Writhe in obscurity
Madness projected in positiveness
It's in my blood
Black waters of old

Duration of the utmost
Perserverance; the Will to last
It's in my blood now
Dark images of old

My mind, the throne to every paradox
My heart, the gateway to all lost realms
It flows through my blood
Embraced by the shadows of old

The ones that have haunted
The ones that made you fear
I won't wait for you
There are no odds that one day I'll see you here.

Written 14-10-2007

Anti...

A black orbit of reduced thoughts forming a theory
To be lost in the 'second' of things
An urge to unfold
And pleasing they prove to be
As they complete a journey well travelled
A sarcastic view
A maze of horror
Herein we gracefully subside
May they come to us in their downfall

A strength which appears and disappears
A will that's bold
Mannered, but anti

They're hid well under
A closing eye that may see through
A name, none of the rotten deserve
Bathing in their bleeky blackness
A hatred not to comprehend
It layers itself
And gives you full debate
Of the progress that wields
Through those 'blessed souls'

A hate that appears and keeps reappearing
For the thought that bled not a second
Tempered, unlikely casual and anti

Their will, not to be heard
So bluntly they dismiss
It was free, it was given
Could they not absolve the 'second'?
Morbidly crucified and anti
Giving destruction a point to erase.

Written 22-10-2003

Into the Maze

They condemn my view
They painted it black; a crippled decision
No rules for the martyr
It's clearly seen, the bastard wins
Take the disguise off
I want to see you facing reality
Bend over the wire
And slip into the throne

My perfection is inner darkness
Unknown chaos, a trip for my own

It's worth to see the creeping walls divide
It's plain to see the mirror does not shine

Brick for brick, the layer thickens; I'm hardening
To choose, it's not a problem
When it comes to what I need
I've broke the switch
To which I'm losing ground; I can't return
Now they're after me...
Hell! show me what it takes to burn!

They've set me on fire
I'm in with the blackness
My calls are for me
Won't wait for you
I'm nearly there!

You can't find a meaning in everything I stand for and do
But life to me isn't unfair.

10-09-2003

Empty and Insignificant

Alone, the stare
Silent, the gaze
Insignificant
To tell a tale of a thousand wandering souls
No goals as they don't find themselves worthy
Nothing to seek
Just pondering of what might be: Total Death

Scream. Vague. Turn around
Turn it upside down
Where? You can't... closed

I can't remember a single line
Unstable? A laughing matter

I hold the strings
Like the ones holding me
Look below
You were afraid to let go

Border of self expression passed for miles
Ages to impound what's been done before
No love, no warmth

Everyday a step closer
Defined. I step on my grave
All of a sudden, it became dark

Trust. There's no one to hail
I'll step on your grave
And be the chill bruising down your spine
Alone. The Temptation
Silent. The Infliction
Insignificant
And ongoing...

Written 28-02-2003

The Demon Has Risen

He is here and heavily present
I turned your light off and flood you in a sea of darkness
I gave you a new release
Yes, they are calling through me
To blur you of your total vision
To get it done; so it is
A balance quickly accepted

A definition for the youth;
The elder claim their space
Already amidst the dark seasons of their life
For no one shall give thought
To early secrets never fully questioned

Indeed, they ride on wings
Without master, to serve
An incompetent slave
They shall not be blessed
They shall burn entirely
For no slave holds the key
So the route unto darkness
Shall always be made by one

One for every century
To keep going in every cycle
For them to keep the inner flame certain and alive

A slave now, maybe a martyr soon
Who knows what comes and goes?
Who knows what portal you may tread
I know, I've been that slave
But I'm your martyr now.

Written 23-10-2003

Diabolical Emphasis

Filled with disrespect
Your ways don't bleed like mine
Maybe one day you'll recognize it
And grant me a wish for the life I gave you

Don't serve, only lead
The voices of my deep hone strength as a law
What I brought to you
You couldn't comprehend yet
But I'll wait...
The rite works in mysterious ways

Black spirit, one in mind
Souls that rot gracefully
The things I explained, my every word
A wishfull yearn

The hangman that reaches the other side
Have no place on this earth
Play and hope to die

Death that grows a thousandfold

Soon the garden filled with dwelling demons
The ones that killed their light

The inverted forever
One in mind
Souls in pain eternally
The things explained, all the words
A silent yearn

Granted! Emotional hate
Tongues are hissing, lewd and to frustrate
Bark at your system, hectic blessing
Then a diabolical emphasis.

Written 22-04-2003

A Blizzard Through the Unconcious

So, what's to be?
Should you depend on me?
No! not me

Life, a trap, a maze within
Decide where to begin
When all is sin?!

Indulge where I can
Invoke a master plan

Death: the riddle unsolved
From the start you begin to dissolve

Pain, lies, hate and fear
Make up the void inside,
But where is pride?

Festered! All your dreams
And now it's not what it seems

Lies, illusions, when do I gain?
The right of prospect and do as I please!

They've sunken into drab-minds
They will collapse and behold:

The path of the 'rich' man
But where is this gift you offer?
Can't watch from the side-lines
Induce to suffer!

Written 26-07-2005

What is yours...?

Callous wreckage in a new dimension
Sins become sweeter...
The law that is not, cries for attention

Love to learn how to hate
Hate to learn how to love
Beget not what is said to be holy!

Learn about death to know how to live
Learn about life to understand death
Embrace it!

Become eternity until the earth swallows you whole

Despair not!
Wallow not!

The world is yours.

Written 10-22-2008

A Misdemeanor

Look upon the face
The face without reflection
The sinister embodiment
Developing an inner abyss,
Which comes from the deepest alone
Infection, sedation
The heartless ocean of lies;
Yields it's biggest waves

Through conformity;
Without structure
Through rebellion,
Becoming the unknown
Without voice, speaking the whole
Destructive reign through ages cold
Inner darkness becoming home
Chaos: Fate forevermore

Dead are the mouths
Poisoned are the tongues
'Souls' still cheaper
An outward shame, a common waste

Brain death, hollow mind; a vacuum
The sun, electrified; current of life
The moon drips life's blood through endless night
The face drowns into eternal oblivion.

Written 22-10-2008