Barricade

Leave it out cause time will forget
Ostracized? No, not this time
It's leading nowhere; so dark
A mindgame with intension
Where does the clue hide?
Across that line, uninspired
The long awaited battle arise
To hell with solitude!
Start shivering down the spine!

Prepared, facedown and cold
Never attracted to fear
Send them in to coalesce
To rebuild and bring back the barrier

Confused before a wired fence
Eat, out of a reaching hand
When does the will make time
To eternalize a frail life?
Instead
Suck like the leech and don the mask as told

Strength, none of which is present
It's eating the inside out
Everything's the last drop
When is the time to open up?
Give, what is needed
Acceptance, a mind fuck and a little greed
Show your soul!
And ride til the cup overflows!

Written 10/11-11-2001

Funeral Dirge

Direction of the burden prophecies
The wind divides the memory
Chanting to praise the pearls
The fruits and the labor
Trying to make it equal
Untie the knot of an unwillful mankind
To know perseverance
Albeit, it's safe to say you're at a loss

Wrongfully an error
Sent to distract me
And excess the penalty
Forge the innummerable innuendo's

Cut away the grip we've slaved for
The one to become brutalised
In the ongoing attempt
To feel nothing but paralysed
Some fool tells me
I'm either baptised or yearning for a death rattle
Planting my seed, believe!
I'm eager to leave!

They talk like it's 'ok'
Escape to shackle another day
Your wheelin' and dealin' condone
But the servant is late

Capsized prayer
For nothing is answered

Renewal of the inner = Reward for the outer

Written 29-11-2001

Drive Or Be Driven

Soon to be scraped from the asphalt
Your senses become redundant
Breathing through flesh and bone
All is everything but your own
Defy! Until the end
Ignite your rhetorical facts
Since the day you've met yourself
You hear the gunshot aloud

Drive or be driven
Choices were made, no hand I've been given
You left me there, thanks...

Showered all emotion away
Envisage the mental decay
See the rope dangling before you
Will you do it, will you?
Abdicate yourself from your life
Is it the easy way out?
Before you know it death will cheat you
Render you stupid and see you abate...

Drive or be driven
Far beyond driven...

We're in it for free
Disaffected, should it be?
If the curtains fall will it end?
I know I'll abscond and teach you
Never to walk by my side
Cause I'm the one who holds the wheel
And the choices I've made will give examples
Of what it's like to be the one who drives

And the choices are already made
So fuck you and your given hand
Fuck you and your giving hand!

Written 24-11-2001

A Rancid Death

The intensity moves; a focussed battering
Two sides of an inferior promise
I still dread the secret, haunting me
Though it keeps me safe, not knowing
Pissed, while I try to feel better
Save my skin for the purpose whore
As I walk gently through the door I realize
This isn't the playground anymore

A race against a rancid death, I ignore
The past pleasures forgotten, absorbed
Terrified of a darkened suicide
Concerned to slip into psychosis

Now all the deals are off
I've been given more time to think
And sometimes that hate just increases
The uncontrollable urge to dismember you
And then you ask why...
But feel there's no obligation to explain
You're just fucked in your position
Left to wander in frustration

And I keep staring at you
Cause I find you so liberated
Now lift that dress and bendover
And let me fuck the pain out of you
Stricken through the heart again
I almost feel fully content
As the paws of injustic mutilate you
I light one up and exhale gently...
I feel so glorified

Written 09-10-2001

What's It to You...?

Languish in eternal gaze
Periphery has a defect
Long not anymore...
Anymore,
For longing has become a burden

And to you I give not
And of you I have no thought
Vanished are you whom I've sought
Good!
Tis you I don't miss a lot!

Merriment and self indulgence
Thus opened their heart
At the core am I
Feeding on my eternal pride!

Pain there is not
And each time I have what I got
Sustaining me, keeping me
Everlasting on my feet

Corrupting my fantasy
I am no more of thee
Remove myself at once from this pest
Alone I stand
Without you I'm at my best

Do not rely on them
Do not confide in them
I shall speak no more of them
I shall do as I do
And keep doing what I do
No bond will there be
Between me and them
Anymore...

Written 21-06-2008

The Totality of Insignifigance (Through Definitive Distortion)

Through infinity
Straight to Hell!

Got nothing on my back
I'm still on track
You can't beat the insides out of me yet!

Take it down,
But just a notch
I tear and see
What's been inside of me
Can't I just take the weight off?

I'm right, that's right!
I go back and then through
Turning on you!
Your 'now' disappoints me
And it's doing me in

Fuck this, screw that!
I have nothing for you that you can abuse
So go with the tide
Away from my life
Through the totality of insignifigance!

Deafening distortion
Away! Away!
There's got to be a way
To swim this mighty black ocean

Didn't I need some?
I made a perfect mistake
I went through the gate
And now I belong to the blessed ones...

Written 09-04-07

Deceiving Uninhibited Frequencies

Leaping towards higher mountains of knowledge
Desolate, despairing, I shed...
Your words make mine sound more reasonable

Domestic waste, bourgeois, nothingness
Degenerate, break, then tame...
Fuse the lines that dangle helplessly
Make each star a participating member

Under certain attraction
Become knowable through thought
Inner circumstance moving outward
War becomes futile...

Chaos: the only peace to find
The only one I've come to know
Search the inner calm
Protected not from it's virtue

Waves become disentangled
Finding their own frequency
You may not see
Yet you shall always find

Come forth, the spawn, through emptiness
Make dreams visions, then reality
Sure enough ye shall be deceived
Ans as deceived, you shall deceive moreover

Spineless, effortless you shall embrace the black tar pit
And leave as you came
As inconsequential as the first day
You were conceived i.e. deceived.

Written 24-05-2008